In the spring-time. What better time? New beginnings, new growth... Oh yeah, yeah, etc. etc.! It’s April.
But it’s April! Ruined by man just as surely as he would ruin God Himself, if he could (planet Earth is a good start). And the whole month has become thrall to Mammon, god of this world.
Tax forms for all our American friends [I’ve seen people asking for prayers for help with those things!] and gosh-knows-what financial hiccoughing in this country [it’s all keeping me very busy – one claim and check-up for Social Services after another! (Defeats the object if you ask me, the stress is awful!)].
And - I expect you guessed it - Tom left! Deserted, like a rat from a sinking ship. Gone. Off to sow his wild oats (oh, I hope not!), living with an old school-friend (known him 16 years – nothing strange for Tom!) down the road.
So for me, of course, everything seems wrong. Incongruous. Surreal. I’m having a bit of a bad time.
And it’s getting warm in my horrible west-facing sitting-room (I told Tom to bring a compass when we came to look round, he didn’t realise the necessity!) which is making things [MS not good in heat] even harder.
However... God is with us, Pope Benedict XVI is in America as I write (thereby cultivating what his predecessor, John Paul II called a “spring-time in the Church”), and I have joined a great Catholic social networking site (4marks). So I’m making new friends. All is not lost.
Tom comes and helps (and eats, showers, does his washing, stays nights!) and tries to keep it as familiar as he can. He even comes in the mornings when he doesn’t stay the previous night to make me coffee and feed Lucy. Ah, he truly is a good lad – I must stop shouting at him!
But I’m missing him like crazy. And Lucy is [and no, we haven’t got over those builders upstairs yet – I know my nerves have been very unsettled and dear L. is not quite as good as she has been]. I hate his friend for kicking the poor dad into sheltered housing and using the house for rent-paying lodgers!
Still, back to ‘all is not lost’!
I just needed to get my writing self back on track to feel right. So that’s what this is about. I hope you will bear with me and, when it comes, be tolerant of that nasty, pointless, self-pity thing.
I’m going to aim to get a spring into my step for spring. Yes I am!
Thank you for keeping me going and caring (especially you, Daffy). It’d be a lot worse without my blogger friends!
Time to move on...
P.S. I forgot to mention (probably because she’s on another week’s leave and I’m trying not to think about it), H., my social worker, has been working towards getting me live-in care (after all – perhaps she read this blog! [the Kent Care Home looked very nice but she and I agreed: “not yet”]). I’m meant to be filling-in a Registration Form. But, oh, I don’t know. I guess I’ll have to do something – for Tom’s sake.
P.P.S. For the record (mine?!) Tom left on Saturday, April 5th 2008!