Tuesday, 29 March 2011

A fall comes before...a long silence

Last August I had a fall: a slip on the bathroom floor whereby my left leg flew under the shower chair, flipped it into the air and brought it down on top of me. So that I lay there, half on the hall floor, for an hour while I waited: first for Tom to arrive from work, and second – when he didn’t at his usual time – for the panic-button people and an ambulance crew to come and pick me up.

And it was agony. And poor little Lucy (toy poodle - as if you didn’t know!), who was in her own room “resting” while I cleaned up her “mess”, remained nonchalant the whole way through: didn’t even respond to all my shouts into the alarm microphone or when the lady from the council and ambulance men finally came, and with me discovering more pain and damaged nerves (shaking leg) by the moment, caused so much commotion. In fact, I think the only time she perked up was when Tom entered the scene and she heard his voice, smelled his smell: that’s always a precursor to excitement from Lucy!

I spent two weeks sitting and sleeping in the same chair (perhaps I should have gone for x-rays but I didn’t: just smeared arnica oil on everything and took extra herbs), and dear Tom waited on me hand and foot. He had a few days off to help but when he absolutely had to go back to work, left me a coffee table covered in flasks of coffee and herb teas, and cups of tissanes and spare cups…and crisps and biscuits…and, yet again, I’d never have managed without him. What a hero!

[Note: rang social services screaming for help but found out file had been closed and had to wait for “re-allocation”. Not the first time we’ve heard that. Should make a lot of noise complaining about it. But it’s too boring. And I’ve got to think of more positive things. Or go down, mentally.]

Yep, it took two weeks to be able to get back into my profiling bed and then - what a relief -: with my legs raised, the grotesque swelling gradually reduced and it got a bit easier to move: I started staggering – “furniture-walking” with a vengeance (never daring not to be holding something) and life looked a bit more hopeful. I spent about a month buying new and different slippers, online, till I found something I could stick with (literally, to the ground?!) and now, here we are…

Well, I have to admit that fall is still having an effect: I still can’t walk brilliantly; lose my balance a lot more; feel pain where there was none, or a lot less, before and, worst of all, sometimes, feel helpless…

I write constantly but too much gets drafted only to be ignored, through fatigue or depression, and then forgotten - going nowhere… And so there’s a new yardstick: if this piece actually does get posted…well, that’ll be an improvement and maybe the other bits I prepared for blogs can follow. That would be good.

In the end, I just want to say, “I’m sorry”. For anyone else who’s had a fall (and I know there are many - some who are bed-bound as a result and develop infections). You are all in my thoughts and prayers. God bless you.



gingerman said...

i am pleased you are feeling better(?)and have returned to writing your blog. i have ms and suffered a nasty fall down the basement stairs in the late winter of 2009. all one can do is to keep on keeping on. thanks for all of your insight and comments. stay with us. gingerman, minnesota, usa

Anonymous said...

Just came across your article. Congrats! WriMo is a beast! It's a real accomplishment for people in general to make it. Not to mention everything else that comes with it!
I won this past year also, and spent a solid week of writing in the steroid room trying to prevent a relapse. I also made it thru EdMo this year. So it's nice to see similar people making it! I've had relapse/repeat for a while now (considering I've magically remained 25 for years upon years. LOL!) If you did EdMo, I'm the one who paints the disturbing prints on sale at the NaNoEdMo site. I go by The Alien-ation as an artist and online. It fits both my ability to step out of the norm, and it's also a play on how the disease can flip from day to day. It suits me! LoL!
But Congrats! Keep writing! Keep Revising! And keep proving our case! I love when people can just be themselves, and not feel like they have to hide!
So from one MSr to another, I tip my glass!